Sometimes, a team has a slump. It’s usually a number of unfortunate occurrences simultaneously. Luckily, there is a time-proven method to busting a slump.
All you do is change things up. The beauty of that statement is that “things” can be almost anything. However, it usually is follicle-related for some reason.
Last year, our (former) manager Pete Incaviglia had a rather impressive mustache and the promotions staff decided to hold Mustache Monday in its honor. Have a mustache, get a half-price ticket (I think – I have season tickets, so it didn’t really apply, although it was a good excuse to stop shaving for a month.) The AirHogs were in a slump coming up on the fated day, so Pete shaved his mustache off the day before Mustache Monday. I remember my wife asking “Why would he do that?” I said “Gotta change things up.” I was never really sure what that meant, but I had heard it at the ballpark a lot. Just before the Mustache Monday game started, my wife asked Pete, “Why did you shave?” He said “Gotta change things up.”
This year, it’s not shaving. The team is dying. Well, one of the team, anyway. We will soon have a second baseman with a jet black Fauxhawk. I know this because there is a series of videos documenting the preparation on Facebook. Ah, technology. (RIP Flip cameras.) You know what the posting before the videos says? “Gotta change things up.”
Maybe I should put the mustache back on. Gotta change things up.
[Update: Black Beard is 1-0. Apparently, a FauxHawk can hit a home run.]
There is an art to being thrown out of a baseball game. Before I started watching a lot of games at the park, I always thought it was pretty much the same – the umpire made a call, the manager came rushing out of the dugout to argue it, he got tossed. Now, I realize the real action is after the ejection, not before. First, the ejectee has a chance to make his case to remain in the game. This is usually replaced by a few choice comments about the umpire’s eyesight, upbringing or other attributes. Then, there is the walk of shame – at QTP, it’s all the way down the third base line, into the outfield to the far corner of the field to the gate to the clubhouse.
This walk can take quite a long time. Former AirHogs manager Pete Incaviglia would take a tremendous amount of time. It was his evening constitutional. Then, Pete would get so distracted thinking about what he had done (and I’m sure feeling remorse) that he would often leave the gate open. Unfortunately, the game could not proceed until the gate was closed. The umpires would tell the nearest AirHog to close the gate, but the players work for the manager, not the umpire. Eventually, someone would close the gate. Eventually.
There are actually rules about when someone can get tossed – theoretically, you can say anything about the call (“that was a horseshit call”, but not about the umpire (“you’re a horseshit ump.”) Ultimately, it’s the umpire’s decision, so like many decisions, ejections will be questioned, as in a couple of cases below.
Here are the three tosses from the past week and a half or so, two of which were in the same game –
Ricky VanAsselberg, AirHogs manager. The plate umpire had a strike zone that moved more than a popcorn kernel in hot oil. The batters were swinging in defense, and our pitcher was getting really flustered. Ricky headed to the mound to calm the pitcher down. After the usual pause, the home plate umpire waddled up to the mound to break it up. Ricky kept talking. Then, Ricky started discussing something with the umpire. Then, the hook. I’ve meant to ask Ricky what he said, but I’m sure it was something about if the umpire knew how to keep a strike zone consistent, Ricky wouldn’t be out there wasting time trying to calm down his pitcher. I’m sure it was reasoned and polite. Although, he did get ejected, so I’m pretty sure the term “horseshit” was used somewhere in the calm and reasoned discussion.
Antagonizing the umpire – Ricky stormed off towards home plate, and kicked dirt all over it. It was covered. This I find pretty funny, but it’s been done before. Then, he headed to the dugout to dump his equipment and put someone else in charge, since he was leaving. While this was happening, the umpire brushed off home plate.
Umpire’s Fatal Error – Home plate is between the dugout and the walk of shame. So, Ricky covered home plate in dirt. Again. His catcher was snickering as the umpire bent down to clean it off. Again. That was hilarious.
Mike Conroy, Wichita Wingnuts outfielder. Mike played with the AirHogs before, so I’ve met him a few times. He’s a very passionate guy, so you just stay out of the way, expect the usual outburst every now and then, and nobody will get hurt. He was up to bat, took a third strike, and dropped an F-bomb. It was “slightly” loud, since I could hear it from my seat by the first base dugout. Here’s the interesting part – he wasn’t actually challenging the call. He wasn’t even upset at the umpire, he was upset at himself. Then, the hook. WTF? What is he getting thrown out about?
Antagonizing the umpire – If you tell Mike Conroy “You’re outta here!”, I’m pretty sure he hears “Please tell me how you feel about my officiating, since you are now out of the game and can speak freely. Also, if you have any questions about the legitimacy of my birth or my mother’s alleged former hourly occupation, please feel free to discuss those as well.”
Umpire’s Fatal Error – After Mike discussed the call to his satisfaction and was storming towards the dugout, the umpire called for three more balls. He was signaling the bat boy, but Mike was happy to oblige. A handful of baseballs came raining out of the dugout. As Mike headed down the walk of shame, the bat boy was trying to gather them all up, and was having problems because he was laughing. If you can make someone laugh after causing them work, that’s a pretty good ejection.
Brian Rose, Wichita Bench Coach – I would have never known why Brian was thrown out, but we had lunch with him the next day, and it was being discussed, so I have the quote. Brian is the last person I would have expected being thrown out of a ball game. He’s a bench coach – the voice of reason. Brian’s a calm guy. (He was the AirHogs’ bench coach before he moved to Wichita, so we’ve watched him on the field.) Still, a player had a called third strike (in the same game that had seen Mike tossed a few innings earlier), and the player questioned the call briefly, and then returned to the dugout. So, that was that, until the hook appeared. At first, I didn’t know who had been ejected. It turns out Brian had asked a very innocent question – “How many more of those are you going to get wrong?” Apparently, the umpire took offense. Ironically, this is probably a legitimate ejection, since Brian was questioning the umpire. (He was not alone in this, but you can’t do it out loud if you’re in uniform.)
Antagonizing the umpire – After he was ejected, I really don’t think Brian was antagonizing the umpire as much as blowing off steam after having the same crappy officiating for six days. If you are the bench manager of a team, living on the road while battling cancer (visit Brian’s page for more info), I really don’t think you need a 19-year old working home plate, especially when he’s apologized for blowing calls before. It’s bad for your stress levels. That said, I believe Brian heard basically the same quote as Mike when he was ejected, “Say, since you’re leaving us, what do you think of my officiating? Do you have any constructive criticism for me?”
Umpire’s Fatal Error – You ejected Brian? He’s the one person keeping managers from killing you in the parking lot. That is not going to win you many karma points, dude.
Most ball players have a walk-up song – that song that plays as a batter approaches the plate or a pitcher approaches the mound. In fact, through the wonders of Google, I found I was not alone in considering the topic. Luckily, that article is well-organized, which makes up for this one.
Some random thoughts, then, on walk-up songs.
When you’re at the ballpark, if you have an Android or iPhone, you can get a great app called SoundHound to help you figure out what the songs actually are, assuming (like me) you’re older than the players by a generation and have no idea what that racket is these kids are listening to these days.
I think everyone should have a walk-up song, even if you’re not a ball player. Can you imagine a librarian wander in between the shelves, while “Bleed It Out” blares over the speakers?
I want “Pictures of Matchstick Men” to start playing as I approach my computer in the mornings. I don’t know why that song came to mind, but the opening guitar riff would be a great walk-up. It would also scare the hell out of the dogs and the Spousal Unit, but that’s just a bonus.
Wouldn’t a walk-up song be an easy item to change if a hitter is slumping? The songs always seem constant throughout a season. Maybe it’s not your stance, maybe it’s not your swing. Maybe it’s just the wrong song. Perhaps Linkin Park would be a bit more motivating than Katy Perry, say. Of course, if you started changing walk-up songs regularly, this would require even more statistics – on-base percentage could be affected by the genre of the song, the sex of the singer and other musical variables. Eventually, there would be a statistician dedicated to choosing the right song based on the pitcher, the number of men on base, the number of outs, and so forth. In retrospect, maybe one song is enough. Work through the slump.
It would be interesting to discover what the royalty structure is when the team plays the various songs in public – I assume the park just pays ASCAP or BMI (or both) a flat fee since there is music playing almost constantly during some games, but if you weren’t happy with your salary structure, you could pick a really expensive walk-up song and then laugh inwardly every time you went up to bat.
If you’re a struggling musician, you should consider writing and recording a really loud metal or rap song called “See that Ump? Kill that Mutha.” It would probably get a lot of playtime during the spring and summer months.
When the umpires come out before the game, they really should play “Three Blind Mice”, at least until someone records “See that Ump? Kill that Mutha.”
My favorite comment about walk-up songs was the night a woman sitting behind me mentioned loudly that the opposing team’s songs all seemed to be (how to put this delicately) a bit less than manly. They were playing the usual suspects – “Sexy Lady”, “She’s A Lady”, and so forth. I then overheard her date gently explaining to her that if you’re from out of town, the press box picks your song for you – nobody actually asked for “She’s A Lady” to boom out over the speakers as he approached the plate. Perhaps somewhere there is a player so masculine that playing “I Am Woman” would be seen as ironic as he strode to the plate, but I doubt it.
If you chose the Star-Spangled Banner as your walk-up song, would the game start over every time you came up to bat?
As someone who has been involved in pet rescue for over ten years and an AirHogs season ticket holder for three, some of the parallels are striking.
Why are pets dumped at the shelter? The usual reasons (regardless of validity): “it’s not trained”, “it’s too expensive”, “it doesn’t get along with our other pets”, “we just don’t want it anymore”, “it bit me.” How many people-centric variations of these do ball players hear when they’re cut?
Once a pet is dumped or a player is released, the parallels continue. I think much as many people consider pound puppies “broken”, they also don’t take independent ball seriously.
This is a major marketing issue that independent ball has – people are not going because it’s “not pro ball”, but they’re not necessarily going to the majors, either. This means they really don’t like baseball, or they don’t want to bother going to see it live. Maybe it’s pricing – the majors cost too much to go regularly, and the minors don’t cost enough for people to take seriously.
Here’s a news flash – the independent-league players are paid (not much), but it’s pro ball. Also, in the minors, they’re trying to get out, so they’re trying to get noticed. I’ve always thought a lot of people in the majors are more concerned about their longevity than championships. Depending on their contracts, most are paid win or lose, so why risk injury?
So, you can spend a lot of money on major-league tickets just like you can spend a lot of money on a designer mutt. In both cases, it may not be worth the money. What if you get a heartworm-positive ill-bred dog? What if they’re Mets tickets?
The next time you want a real dog, visit your local rescue. The next time you want real baseball, find a minor-league or independent-league park near you.
The AirHogs are 34-16 at the halfway point. Since the season was extended to 100 games this year, there is no All-Star game, so the regular season continues.
If we were still playing a split season, the AirHogs would be in the playoffs, since they are dominating their division. (They have the best record in the league.) Without the split, they have to keep it up – which I think is a better situation. In the past, winning the first half seemed to take a lot of the fire out of a team.
So, the summer is half-over and the season is half-over. It’s time to get through another fifty games and into the playoffs.
One of the interesting (charming?) traditions at QuikTrip Park is the passing of the bucket. There is actually a hand-out for new fans explaining the practice, since many have never seen it done before.
When an AirHog batter hits a home run or an AirHog pitcher tosses a three-up, three-down inning, the ushers wander the park and collect donations for the batter or the pitcher, respectively. On a good night, a player could probably bump his salary, or at least cover his bar costs after the game. We know it’s important to the players, because if the press box forgets to announce it, they complain in the dugout. We’ve had to text the announcers or Tweet Ace Bacon to get it announced before. (This may be a bit crazy – we actually are asking that they come take money from us.)
The first season, the team only passed the bucket for home runs, but the pitchers must have complained, since after that, someone added 3-up, 3-down which is as close to a home run as you will find for pitchers.
I usually try to give $2 or $3 depending on the number of singles in my wallet, although I’ve given $5 or $10 for critical RBIs or pitching performances. Some of the players are still talking about the $20 somebody [my little brother] dropped in one night.
[A side benefit – you can have a load of singles in your wallet and your wife won’t ask where you’ve been.]
I was rather surprised that they didn’t pass the bucket in the Frontier League, since it’s basically the same level as the American Association – when one of the Lake Erie team hit a home run, I instinctively reached for my wallet, and then realized I was alone.
It’s not done in the affiliated minor leagues, which says the players are paid reasonably well. I guess.
That said, tt seems to me this is a great motivator for any baseball players, and it could be used on more levels of the sport.
Specifically, it occurred to me that if Derek Jeter hit a home run at Yankee Stadium, there would probably be 50,000 fans to pass a bucket around. (I looked it up just now and there are 52,325 seats.) So, figure a quarter of the people donate an average of $2 each – some of the people are cheering for the opposition, some are just cheap, some will ask if they take plastic. Still, that’s over thirteen thousand people donating to the home run buckets. That home run just made Mr. Jeter over twenty-six thousand dollars.
At that level of income, this could be quite a motivational tool. (Plus, I’d just like to see the usher tossing a roll of cash that big into the dugout for delivery!) It not only motivates the players, it could lower the salary cap. Owners? A plastic bucket costs $10. Figure you need 50 of them in Yankee Stadium. $500 bucks worth of buckets and training some ushers to wander around – which they are supposed to do anyway. Jeter hit 24 HRs in his best season, he hit 10 last year and he probably averages 15 or so. Wouldn’t you like to pay him $392K less because the fans are paying him directly? You could almost pay off your boat. Well, one of your boats.
Maybe the bucket needs to be called up to the big leagues.
The AirHogs beat the Captains tonight, 3-1, so the teams split the four-game series. The AirHogs are in first place in the division by six and a half games, with Shreveport in second. It’s interesting that on the way home, I realized that I wasn’t happy or elated by the win, I was relieved. That’s how bad this umpiring crew has been. (Yes, I’m bitter.)
Since tomorrow starts a new series with Ft. Worth, hopefully, we’ll have a new officiating crew. Unfortunately, there aren’t that many crews in the area, so I’m sure we’ll recognize them. If nothing else, a change would be good, even if it is the equivalent of changing a dirty diaper for one that is merely wet.
My next project in my copious spare time is to learn how to become an umpire in the American Association. The procedures for affiliated and major league ball are on the MLB website, but the only mention of umpires on the American Association’s website is the email address for the director of umpires. I think I will drop him a short note, asking about the procedures and qualifications. Hopefully, if I’m polite, he’ll answer it when he gets through all of the hate mail and protests he must receive.
I must apologize for bitching about the umpires as much as I do, but after seeing AAA ball in Nashville and the Frontier League in Lake Erie (with a two-man crew), I have to say that many of the American Association umpires would not last in another league. Their indecision and their wrong decisions make you start to question every call. When I hear players yelling at them about the strike zone moving, and see someone thrown out at first because there was another out on the play that wasn’t called verbally so the defense threw to first for a force-out double-play, I started to realize that I may not be paranoid, they may actually be incompetent.
To me, this is unfair to the players and the fans. The players deserve to have a consistent strike zone and umpires that keep the game moving and officiate fairly. The fans deserve umpires that don’t interfere with the outcome by making bad calls.
The most distressing aspect to me is that the umpires often seem hesitant. This just builds distrust. You’re a freakin’ umpire – you cannot be second-guessed. There is no video replay. Just make the call and stand by it. If you can’t make the call with confidence, right or wrong, you need to find another profession.
I’ve calmed down enough to not say “A day that will life in infamy”, but I’m still pissed.
An umpire is not supposed to affect the outcome of a game, but Danny Hymel and the rest of the truly inept officiating crew at QTP tonight did just that. Hymel called an obviously foul ball fair, which gave Shreveport a two-run home run in the top of the ninth. They won the game by one run.
I was in the stands, watching the ball fly off towards the outfield, thinking “F*ck!”, and then I saw it turn foul and land far outside the foul pole. Whew. Then Danny called it fair. F*ck! Everyone with functional eyes protested, but the Three Blind Mice gathered together and discussed it, and I have never seen a call reversed, so the ruling stood. AirHogs lose.
It is disappointing to me that a game can be lost by an umpire unable to be in the proper position to see a ball go foul. This is the second time this week a foul ball has been judged fair, but this is the first one that lost a game and doubled our closer’s ERA.
After some of the bizarre calls last year, I really hoped that we might get some umpires that actually knew the rules and how to work a baseball game. Unfortunately, no.
The real pity is that the league’s umpiring crews must be local, as we see the same idiots again and again. It’s hard enough beating our opponents without having to put enough extra runs on the board to beat the umpires as well.
It’s interesting that the American Association website doesn’t say anything about requirements for being an umpire. I think I will ask, because now I’m actually interested in the procedure, assuming there is one. MLB and MiLB sites have detailed instructions on how to become an umpire, and the progression from minor league to major league. I guess in independent ball you just need a blue shirt.
The El Paso Diablos announced new ownership yesterday – the Tigua Indian tribe which lives in and around the city are now the majority owners. The Diablos were a sister team to the AirHogs until the AirHogs were sold earlier this year, as both were owned by Ventura Sports Group. With the sale, Ventura goes from owning two teams to none in less than six months. Their website still shows both, and all the rest are “coming soon.”
Ventura will have an American Association expansion team in Laredo, TX starting next year, and Pete Incaviglia has been announced as manager.
I find it very interesting that a lot of the comments in the El Paso press about the sale echoed what was heard in Grand Prairie a few months back – team not doing well, attendance falling, stadium needs repairs.
If Ventura ever update their website (an unlikely proposition), I will be interested to see how this is actually declared a victory for them – which is how all sales will be spun by both sides.
The other parallel is that both the AirHogs and the Diablos now have “local ownership.” The AirHogs new owners live in Dallas (and own Shreveport and Amarillo teams – but field and team management are local or semi-local) and the Diablos owners are in El Paso and own other businesses there.
I never thought that “local” would be critical to team ownership, but it was mentioned in both sales as a positive. The El Paso press actually specifically mentioned that Ventura was from Wisconsin – and it reminded me of a Pace Picante sauce commercial long ago: “New York City???? Get a rope.”
Hopefully, the finances in El Paso aren’t in the same disarray the AirHogs apparently were, so the tribe can make it work. The Diablos do seem to have a relatively large, dedicated fan base, and very little competition in the area, so that will help. They also have the worst record in the division, which will make a negative difference eventually.
It will be interesting to see how long the “Wisconsin” company stays in Laredo. Since their website says they are owners (not any more, but coming soon), operators (“we put fans in stands”, except in Grand Prairie and El Paso) and developers (perhaps, it may be secret), they don’t seem to have a lot to do.
I’ve now been in three different ballparks in the past week. After missing AirHogs games because of a business trip, it occurred to me that the Metroplex is not the only place in the universe with minor league baseball.
So, last week, while I was in Nashville, I did a quick Google Maps search for “minor league” nearby the hotel, and found the Nashville Sounds. In a bizarre coincidence, they were playing the Round Rock Express, so there was actually a Texas team for me to cheer on. When I realized I was probably the only Texan in the crowd, I cheered quietly. They lost.
I got home in time to see the AirHogs sweep El Paso this weekend.
Now, I’m in Cleveland on yet another business trip. The AirHogs are in Shreveport, so I’m not missing any games, but I might as well find a game if there is one around. There are a number of minor league teams, but AA is having its All-Star game, so teams aren’t playing.
Then, I found the Lake Erie Crushers who play in the Frontier League and their stadium was about a half-hour from the hotel, so I bought a ticket online and headed out after work. They were playing the Windy City Thunderbolts, so since I had no obvious loyalties, I cheered for the home team. It’s safer.
The ticket was $14 online with a dollar service charge. Here’s the view from the seat:
$15 Seat
I decided I might as well keep score since I was alone, so there were fewer distractions than usual. (If you have an Android, look at 6-4-3 for keeping score.)
Since I was keeping score, I had to get the lineups. While I was copying down player names and numbers, I saw an interesting fact on the wall – Windy City is leading the division. Guess who is in last? Maybe I was cheering for the wrong team after all.
The game started and I realized the Frontier League uses a two-man crew for umpiring. While this is one less person to blow a call, it’s a lot less coverage in the field.
Windy City scored two in the first to jump out to an early lead. Uh oh. Lake Erie added one in the bottom of the first to keep it close.
Three up, three down for Windy City in the second. Perhaps there was a chance. Lake Erie scored four in the bottom of the second and chased Windy City’s starter. Yes, there is a chance, indeed.
After that, the pitchers settled down. Windy City added two runs in the fourth to draw within one.
Now, the magic.
It’s difficult to get the soul of a team from reading lineups a half-hour before the game. So, you have to go by the sound of the crowd. Lake Erie was still leading 5-4 going into the ninth inning, and there was one last pitching change.
The PA said “Ruben Flores” and the crowd roared. It was the minor-league crowd equivalent of Mariano being introduced. Since the final Windy City pitcher had used only nine pitches to close out the eighth, I thought “This guy must be good.”
Three outs from victory.
First batter. Two strikes. Then, a foul. Then, a third strike that got past the catcher, so a man on first. Hmm.
Second batter. One ball. Pop-up – 1-3 for the out, but a man is now on second. Don’t you usually try to throw out the lead runner? No panicking. Yet.
Third batter. Strike. Lined to short, 6-3 for the second out. Tying run is now 90 feet from home. Again, lead runner, no? Ruh-roh.
Fourth batter. Thinking this would have been a good time for “three up, three down”, but so it goes.
The fourth batter is the one player I actually recognize – Chase Porch, who played for Pensacola last year. He’s 0-3 on the night, so he may be due. One good hit, and we’re going to extra innings. One really good hit and we lose.
Suddenly, I’m very involved emotionally.
Foul. Strike one.
Foul. Strike two.
The magic of baseball is that a great defensive play can win a ball game just as easily as a great offensive play. Sometimes, you get a great hit to win a game. Sometimes, you need defense. With two out and a man on third, you need perfect defense.
Third pitch. High foul pop-up behind the plate. I was sitting almost directly behind home plate, and I lost the ball, but I saw the catcher running towards the backstop, almost directly at me.
He fell into the backstop (which was mesh, so flexible), almost falling into the first row of seats. He came out of the mesh. The ball was in his glove.
Ball game.
Wow.
That is the first time a ball game ended because of something that happened literally three seats from me. I couldn’t get a photo because I couldn’t react that quickly. (So much for “baseball is slow.”)
Lake Erie wins, 5-4.
I’m a Crushers fan now. I’m especially a Kyle Shaffer fan, because that was one hell of a catch.
Unfiltered Thoughts 