Category: Delirium

Sailing

We should be on a ship,
Sailing across the sea.
Yet, we’re stuck at home,
Bored as we can be.

The living room’s our Lido Deck,
But there isn’t much to do.
We don’t have any contests,
There isn’t any pool.

Our buffet is open all day long,
It’s called the kitchen here.
There’s not a wide selection,
And bars don’t have any beer.

We can go out on excursions,
Just like on any cruise.
It’s now a bit like gambling,
With just your life to lose.

The back porch is our balcony,
The back yard’s our open sea,
The view just never changes,
We’re docked at Homestead Quay.


Starvation Diet, Chihuahua-Style

Rocky! It’s time to eat! 
I can’t come in right now.
I think I heard a cow.
Or maybe a cat.
Anyhoo, I have to patrol.

ROCKY! It’s dinner time!
Please just let me be.
I’m guarding you, you see.
There is something lurking.
I must kill or maim it.
Anyhoo, I’ll be in later.

ROCKY! I’M GIVING KATIE YOUR FOOD!
I’m sure you would be upset.
If a burglar stole your pet.
So, I’m running all around.
Makes me less of a target.
Anyhoo, I’m working on my steps.

ROCKFORD. NOW. OR I KILL YOU.
The yard is cleared at last.
The dangers all are past.
Is there any food around here?
I’m starving.
Why don’t we eat on time?

Conflict of Interest

This requires a full scientific study.

Editor’s Note: This is from a non-scientific study, but results are interesting.

Dogs sleep 19 hours a day (or so.)
They’re really not very active at all.
They will show up for all mealtimes,
Or sometimes, just to catch a ball.

So, eighty percent per day asleep,
A vast amount of total time spent,
Yet, when I take a one-hour nap,
That hour will be in the twenty percent.

Cruise Trip Blues 

Maybe it’s just a cold

to the tune of Frer Jaques

Norovirus,
Norovirus,
Not the flu,
Not the flu.

I am on the poop deck,
Looking for the puke deck.
Feeling blue,
Feeling blue.

Norovirus,
Norovirus,
Not the flu,
Not the flu.

Forgot to washy-washy,
Now my tummy’s sloshy.
Feel like poo,
Feel like poo.

Norovirus,
Norovirus,
Not the flu,
Not the flu.

Medical is crowded,
I ate what the crowd did.
Cordon bleu,
Cordon bleu.

Norovirus,
Norovirus,
Not the flu,
Not the flu.

All of us are leaving,
Hope that this is fleeting.
No more spew.
No more spew.

Time Passing

Meetings are highly over-rated

I have a seven am meeting.
I have a meeting at nine.
I have another at ten,
At least that one is mine.

I have a meeting at one.
I have a meeting at two.
Last one at nine in the evening.
I wish it weren’t true.

Web conferences bring us closer,
Of this I make no bones,
It’s just they don’t solve the issue
Of our pesky time zones.

Goals

Some random goals

I want to be a travel agent.
Move my bosses to and fro.
I would schedule all their trips.
I could tell them where to go.

I want to be a pharmacist.
Filling bottles gives me thrills.
I would refill all your prescriptions,
And bring my wife some happy pills.

I want to be a pirate.
Sail across the seven seas.
With a Chihuahua for a parrot.
He’s balanced on my knees.

I want to be a lumberjack.
Wait, that one’s been done.

Thirty

Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November.

Thirty days hath NaPoWriMo.

Thirty poems is a lot.
Thirty good poems may be a bit much to ask.

I may have to go edit a few,
To make them more coherent.
Some, to make them coherent at all.

Thirty has one more meaning.
For the press (old school),
You will see -30- in articles.
It means “The End.”

-30-

(see you next year, or when the fever strikes.)