Category: Random Thoughts

Strings

I found an old guitar …

I found an old guitar,
Up in the attic at my Mom’s.
She said it was my Grandpa’s.
He would play it on the lawn.

I never knew he had one.
I never knew he played.
Yet, I could almost hear him,
As I saw the strings were frayed.

I took it from the attic,
I had it cleaned and tuned.
I tried to learn to play it.
I wanted music to resume.

I wonder if he wrote a song.
I wonder what he played.
I’d like to sing it with him.
My memories ceased to fade.

When you’re listening to a concert,
Watching some now famous star,
You should think about his Grandpa.
And wonder if he played guitar.

 

Goals

Some random goals

I want to be a travel agent.
Move my bosses to and fro.
I would schedule all their trips.
I could tell them where to go.

I want to be a pharmacist.
Filling bottles gives me thrills.
I would refill all your prescriptions,
And bring my wife some happy pills.

I want to be a pirate.
Sail across the seven seas.
With a Chihuahua for a parrot.
He’s balanced on my knees.

I want to be a lumberjack.
Wait, that one’s been done.

Progress

When I was young,
The only excuse we used
Was “I forgot.”

Later, we graduated
To more exciting excuses,
Like “The dog ate my homework.”

Now, we’re on Wifi all the time,
So, we have rather bizarre excuses,
As in, “The squirrels chewed through the line.”

File this under “Sad But True.”
If you live in a old-tree cul de sac,
There are a lot of squirrels.

Squirrels chew trees,
And things that look like trees.
Phone lines look like trees.

Either that, or we have squirrels
Who are hooked on insulation.
Really? Find a new drug.

Anyway, they chew the insulation.
That leaves holes everywhere.
Everything works, until water gets into the lines.

The insulation is what stops the water.
So, every time we have a decent rainstorm,
The lines get wet and the phone stops.

This is only a problem from March until June.
So, it’s really not worth complaining about.
It’s not like I have to use the Internet for work.

So, the entire house is down.
No phone, Internet or TV.
I guess I’ll read a book.

I hate squirrels.

Me

I have a house,
I have a wife.
I have a happy, happy life.

(Oy vey.)

I have some dogs,
A girl and three boys.
They make a lot of noisy noise.

(A lot. Trust me.)

I eat too much,
My doctor won’t be quiet.
I said I’m on the see food diet.

(Stress will kill me first.)

I write bad poems,
And this is one.
I hope that reading it was fun.

(You’re not getting a refund.)

Cannoli 

I may have smoked a little weed,
And then, I had that certain need.
A craving, that we all remember well.

My kitchen had lots of stuff I was saving
But nothing there could kill the craving.
All I had was sugar and some cheese.

Pastry sheets were in the freezer,
I pulled them apart with my tweezers.
I mixed up the sugar and the cheese.
(I started giggling.)

I fried the sheets ’til they were brown.
I found a tube to wrap them around.
(It holds my toilet tissue,  so it’s cool.)

I filled the little tubes with the mix,
Of the sugar and the cheese I’d fixed.
I wished I had some chocolate sauce around.

Mmmmm. Chocolate.

Wait a minute! Holy Moley!
Italian little tubes are called “cannoli”.
So, this stupid craving-killer has a name.

(I was really giggling, now.)

It was really tasty good!
I should sell these in my neighborhood!
As long as my neighbors all smoke weed.

A Dog’s Journal

I just had the bath from Hell.
What can I do to fix this smell?

I wonder if that thing is dead?
I guess I’ll rub it on my head.

That pile really smells like shit.
I guess I’ll have to roll in it.

I have to go and chase the birds,
So they won’t try to steal my turds.

I’m not eating all my day-old poop
I’m just recycling before the scoop.

Mom always yells when I eat crap,
So I dropped a nugget in her lap.

Mom keeps saying “Go away!”
I think that means I have to stay.

East Dallas Noah

Another day, 
Another flood.
— God

I will build a 100-cubit Ark
In the yard behind my house.
It holds my four fixed dogs
And my pre-menopausal spouse.

We will fill it with supplies,
Dog treats, my coffee and her tea.
We’ll watch the rain waters rise.
Then, it’s down the Trinity.

When we reach the Gulf,
Take a right to Cozumel.
I should have brought a shovel.
Whatever is that smell?

Forty days and nights of sailing.
It’s our longest-ever cruise.
We’ll even have the puppies.
What do we have to lose?

When the flooding does recede,
We’ll recover from the strife.
We can’t rebuild the world,
So, we’ll have a quiet life.