Category: Random Thoughts

Self-Isolation

Bored.
Oh, Lord.
I’m bored.

Working at home.
(Like I was before.)
Let me explain.

In January,
I broke my ankle.
Broke my foot as well.
The doctor asked,
“This was one fall?”

Splint, boot, cast, boot.
My doctor said I should stay off it.
Avoid traveling.

So, I was stuck at home.
My wife said, “At least you work at home.”

Annoyed.
Very annoyed.
But it was my fault.

April,
I can walk!
I’m free at last!
Bad timing.

Everyone said,
“Stay home!”
“Avoid everyone!”
“Work at home!”
“Don’t travel!”

So, it’s pretty much
Like breaking my foot again.
Except I didn’t.

So, I’m annoyed.
And, I’m bored.
Oh, Lord.
I’m bored.

Dog Talk

We have a very vocal puppy.
Her name is Katie.
She talks all the time.
(She gets it from her Mom.)

The problem with a vocal puppy,
Is that nobody in the house speaks Dog.
With the exception of the Chihuahua,
And nobody speaks Spanish, either.

Katie howls at the front window.
This means, “Mail’s here.”
Unless, “The yard man is mowing.”
Sometimes, “A leaf blew in the street.”

Katie whimpers by the bed.
(Only in the middle of the night.)
This means, “I must go outside.”
Or, “Daddy’s sleeping in my spot.”
Sometimes, “Can you get me a snack?”

Katie whines in the kitchen.
This means, “Feed me now.”
Perhaps, “I would like some attention.”
Rarely, “My goodness, I am full.”

Katie cries by the back door.
This means, “Potty, please.”
Unless it means, “The neighbors are loud.”
Maybe, “There is noise out front, but this door has a window.”

Katie moans by the bedroom door.
On the outside, “Let me in!”
On the inside, “Let me out!”
That one, we understand.

Ouch

My whining dogs both had to pee.
So I got up to set them free.
I felt my little foot go snap.
I said a loud and painful “Crap!”

In all the years that I have grown,
I never had a broken bone.
Now, I think that I have four.
It may be that or even more.

We had to skip our Springtime cruise.
Because my foot was full of screws.
To think that one little slip
Made me miss a weeklong trip.

A Couple in Quarantine

So, I’m waiting in the ER tonight.
I got the feeling that something ain’t right.
I’m so scared I have a fever and cough.
I’m hoping drugs can just get me off.

Coughs to the left of me,
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.

Well, I’m stuck in the middle with you.
And I’m hoping that it’s not Wuhan flu.
It’s so hard to keep my hands from my face.
And I want to puke all over the place.

Coughs to the left of me,
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.

Well, you started out with nothing,
Till you took a cruise ship to Japan.
Now, the doctors all come calling,
Slap you on the back and say,
Breathe.
Breathe.

Trying to make some sense of it all.
My wife shows no symptoms at all.
Is it cool to just pass out on the floor?
‘Cause I don’t that I can take any more.

Coughs to the left of me.
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with flu.

(with deepest apologies to Stealer’s Wheel)

Accounting Review

Accounting is finally done.
Except for the final exam.
So, I will say once again,
Oh, how I hate Accounting.

Accounting is just basic math.
Accounting class is calculus.
Calculus as in:
As pages approach the end of the book,
Chances of napping approach infinity.

I do not like credits and debits.
I do not like them, Sam I Am.

This should all be in a red font.
Because it is extremely negative.