Katie
You have a big ol’ belly,
And you’re kinda smelly.
You remind me of Mom.
Murphy
You seem kinda bitchy,
And you’re always itchy.
You remind me of Mom.
Rocky
You’re a wee bit lazy,
And you’re kinda crazy.
You remind me of Mom.
Ripley
You’re always nappin’,
And your gums are flappin’.
You remind me of Mom.
You know where this is leading,
I’m lying here bleeding.
Just for singing this song.
(Don’t ever sing silly songs to your dogs. It can get you killed. Apparently.)
Editor’s Note: This was written during a series of puppy health crises in April, earlier this year. I almost deleted it when Flower rallied at that point, but sadly, I knew someday, I would need it. She crossed the bridge on August 13, 2014.
A Rose had many children.
Four girls and a boy.
But she only had one Flower,
Who was her pride and joy.
Fifteen years later,
Her Flower is feeling old.
It’s finally changing from Winter,
But it’s still a little cold.
The air is filled with pollen,
All the birds begin to sing.
A sad thing to discover,
Sometimes Flowers die in Spring.
I feel my eyes closing,
Dim goes the light.
It’s time to just fade
Quietly into the night.
The is the final step.
I will enter the Void.
My life is completed.
I’m slightly annoyed.
Inner peace and silence
Are all that I can sense.
Around me, nothingness,
Except a rather large fence.
It’s not really a fence,
It’s more like a big gate.
It’s painted pearly white.
So I’ll take the bait.
A robed guy is standing
With a halo and iPad.
He’s checking off names.
Each has a box: Good or Bad.
I’m not liking the looks of this.
My name was marked Good.
How in God’s name did that happen?
What happened to the Void?
In God’s name. Oops.
I was handed a white robe,
I’m heading off into the light.
I’m not annoyed that I was wrong,
But that my wife may have been right.
I’m not playing a damn harp.
Thank you for calling AT&T,
Your system’s going up and down I see.
The trouble may be on your end,
Please reboot and try again.
Rebooting didn’t fix the pain?
Perhaps you should reboot again.
We could try to send someone to you
It’s Monday now, would Thursday do?
We replaced the modem you have inside,
So the problem must have moved outside.
We could try to send an outside guy,
How about Sunday – time does fly.
I tried to call to check the line.
It’s down, so you didn’t answer in time.
You’ve moved to the end of the queue.
Eventually, we’ll get to you.
Your phone calls have all begun to fail,
Your Internet is slower than the US mail,
We’re sure you’ll survive without TV,
And thanks for calling AT&T.
I’ve drunk cheap Scotch,
I’ve had bad food.
I’ve been insulted
By people who were rude.
It just made me stronger.
These problems that I met.
But then I went sailing,
And lost the Internet.
That one hurt.
A lot.
Thousands of raw acres
of prime South Texas land.
Mesquite, minimal water,
Fossils, fences and sand.
It’s a place to raise cattle,
With horsepower and sweat.
You can become wealthy,
It’s just not how to bet.
From the thousands of acres
Generations sliced off their share.
One ranch became ranches,
But nobody seemed to care.
The pastures were a man’s world,
There were no girls allowed.
There were many disappointments,
Some best not said out loud.
When I first visited the ranch,
It stretched as far as I could see.
Someone said, “That’s nothin’, son”.
“This used to reach to Uvalde.”
One by one, they moved to town,
It’s where they all belonged.
This could have been the King Ranch,
If they could have got along.
The definition of “early” should be
A picture of a sleeping dog,
With one eye opened (barely),
Looking up as you get out of bed,
And thinking “You’re kidding, right?”
I hate early morning meetings.
I really hate those early meetings
That I fight rush-hour traffic to attend,
Only to find they aren’t actually happening.
People would be violently punished,
But I’m too tired to move.
I think they know this, otherwise,
The meeting would have happened.
I still don’t feel old,
I guess I really should.
I’m writing my life lessons,
I told myself I would.
I shouldn’t waste money,
But I just can’t be a miser.
I’m another year older,
And another Budweiser.
Salesmen can be useful,
Those just aren’t the ones I get.
Lawyers can be honest,
It’s just not the way to bet.
You can fall in love,
You can fall in really deep.
But whomever you may find to love,
No-one beats a good night’s sleep.
It’s too late to be on the stage,
I’ll just stand here by the riser.
I’m another year older,
And another Budweiser.
Lots of (funny) failures,
Very occasional success.
I’ve tried to be myself,
Just never to excess.
I made fast food in high school.
Burgers, fries and all.
So, I’m an unemployed chef
Whenever Food Network calls.
I won’t ever be a King.
I won’t even be the Kaiser.
I’m just another year older,
And another Budweiser.
I’ve got dogs.
I’ve got family.
I’ve even got a wife.
I’ve got office shit (like many.)
it’s a complicated life.
I just can’t get it started.
I just can’t get out of bed.
I can’t even write this poetry.
it’s just sticking in my head.
There’s too much all around me.
I can’t keep track of time.
The world will keep on spinning,
While I slowly lose my mind.
I’ve tried to have a latte,
I’ve tried to drink green tea.
Neither one is very calming,
They just flow right out of me.
I need a good vacation.
I need some time alone.
The problem with vacation,
Is that you have to come back home.
I shouldn’t be complaining.
I’ve got all kinds of stuff.
I just can’t find my inner peace.
It must be buried in the fluff.
I just can’t get it started.
I just can’t get out of bed.
I can’t even write this poetry.
it’s just sticking in my head.
Someday, I’ll be at peace.
I’m sure I’ll find a way.
Until then, I’ll have depression.
It’s back to bed to stay.
The first time someone breaks your heart,
It’s bad, but it will heal.
The next time someone breaks your heart,
That’s when it breaks for real.
My woman broke my heart,
She knows she did me wrong.
She took everything I ever had,
But at least I got this song.
When my woman left me.
All I had left was tears.
I finally met my one true love,
But lost my music career.
Unfiltered Thoughts 