Pets – Page 4 – Unfiltered Thoughts

Katie Sleeps

Dogs take naps? What?

My doggie took a nap today.
She gave our bed some class.
Now, the blankets are all hairy,
And my pillow smells like ass.

Mommy’s leg is hurting.
I know how to fix that.
I’ll go out in the back yard,
And find a nice, delicious rat.

It worked!
I used my cunning.
Mommy is better!
I just saw her running.

My dogs make me feel secure. Mostly.

I’m going to have to bite you.
I hope that isn’t rude.
It’s just that I hate burglers.
Wait! Do you have food?

You broke into my house.
I hope I don’t seem coy.
So, now I have to kill you.
Wait! A squeaky toy?

The intruder has been neutralized.
She’s as dead as day-old fish.
Mom looked at me in horror.
She said, “That was your Aunt Trish.”

Oops.

My dog wants my seat. Always.

I cannot get a snack to eat.
If I move, I’ll lose my seat.

I have a bit of deadly gloom,
Why does a dog need so much room?

What is it with this magic chair?
He knows that I always sit there.

I’m sure that dogs must mean no harm,
Perhaps they find a used seat warm.

At last, I must admit defeat.
I will never have a snack to eat.

This requires a full scientific study.

Editor’s Note: This is from a non-scientific study, but results are interesting.

Dogs sleep 19 hours a day (or so.)
They’re really not very active at all.
They will show up for all mealtimes,
Or sometimes, just to catch a ball.

So, eighty percent per day asleep,
A vast amount of total time spent,
Yet, when I take a one-hour nap,
That hour will be in the twenty percent.

From the poop deck to just poop.

The past few Aprils were fun for me.
When NaPoWriMo came around,
I found myself away at sea.

This year, I’m staying home.
So, I don’t see open seas.
I’m see poop wherever I roam.

I love my dogs, the entire pack.
It just takes them so little time,
To recycle any snack.

So, away at sea, one hand for you,
And another hand for the ship.
Home in the yard, one foot for grass,
And one foot for the shit.

Rocky is a klepto.

Rocky is a klepto,
He stole a poor rat’s life.
Now we all have lepto,
Which is causing us much strife.

I will stay here forever. Mostly.

Dad keeps me warm.
He protects me from harm.
I will stay here forever.
Would I leave him? Never.
I feel safe and sound.
I’m always Dad’s hound.

Holy crap!
Mom has food!
Bye, Dad.

I brushed my doggie Katie.
The memory still lingers.
She is much less matted,
But I only have nine fingers.

Ouch.

By Katie, the PBGV Hunter

I found a squirrel,
His name was Fred.
l chewed him
On his little head.

“Drop that squirrel!”,
My Mommy cried.
It’s Squirrel Tartare.
I prefer them fried.

Mom grabbed Fred.
She threw him far.
I heard him hit
My Daddy’s car.

Oops.

I will miss Fred.
He took a lickin’.
Now I know
Squirrels taste like chicken.