I wandered into the kitchen.
Someone was defrosting chicken.
We’re having chicken tonight.
What a delight!
The next break from toiling,
I found the chicken boiling.
I almost cried.
I much prefer fried.
Chicken cooked in water.
It must be for my daughter.
She’s a bit bitchy
And she won’t take her pills.
My funny little puppy
Jumps where he is able.
So, we all eat standing up,
Instead of at the table.
My sleepy little puppy
Unlocks his crate with his snout.
It’s impressive that he can get in,
We’re glad he can’t get out.
My skinny little puppy
Always sheds his hair.
He could be very, very large.
But he’s spread out everywhere.
My crazy little puppy
Always wants a snack.
She never can relax at all
We’ll feed her Doggie Prozac.
Katie is a lovely dog
She knows that she is mine.
She only has one tiny fault.
She cannot tell the time.
Katie knows that dinner time
Is every night at seven.
So, she starts her dinner whine
At six-ten or six-eleven.
Sometimes, this will work.
I will feed them early.
Katie learned that dinner time
Arrives some nights prematurely.
Katie knows that dinner time
Is every night at six-fifteen
So, she starts her dinner whine
At five-thirty, six or in-between.
Once the whining has commenced,
She never tends to drop it.
Only puppy food in quantity
Seems to make her stop it.
Katie knows that dinner time
Is sometime after four.
So, she starts her dinner whine
Sometime the day before.
The one part of my dear Kate
That never needs explaining.
She only has two speeds in life,
Sound asleep and loud complaining.
NIghtmares, unicycles, pets and a universal truth.
I just woke up from a brief nap. We had fairly broken sleep last night because Katie probably has a urinary tract infection, so she was visiting the yard every couple of hours.
I woke up because I was having a nightmare. I was lost on my unicycle in my parents’ old neighborhood, which isn’t that far from here. I lived there for over ten years, and it’s not that large, so I’m not really sure how I was lost.
That’s when I realized I have been having the same recurring nightmares lately. I’m lost in a neighborhood that resembles one where I had my old paper route, or I’m lost in a neighborhood that resembles where my parents used to live. Sometimes, it has combinations of both with parts of Plano added for extra terror.
There are a few other constants in the dreams – I’m lost, I’m on foot or on a unicycle, there are rarely other people around. When I wake up, I’m still trying to find my way home.
The only true constant is I am always approached and befriended by dogs, usually three white ones, a large one that looks like a poodle, a medium-sized one that looks like a Lhasa Apso, and a small mutt.
I’m sure the white is symbolic. The sizes are just from reading Goldilocks too many times as a child. I have no idea where the unicycle popped up. I’m pretty sure my foot surgeon would frown on a unicycle since I broke my foot walking.
As to the causes. maybe it’s depression from 2020. Maybe it’s stress from being unemployed again. Maybe it’s from sleeping too much with a dog smashed against me.
However, I prefer to think it’s a reminder for everyone – dogs are often your only true friends, and dogs will love you even if you’ve lost your way.
So, a gentle reminder, especially at the holidays: pets are not good gifts. Pets are a gift that come with instant responsibilities, and long-term commitments. Don’t give a gift that brings happiness on Christmas and is in the shelter by Easter.
Most importantly, if you have a pet, love your pet. They love you, no matter what.
And stay off your unicycle. You don’t want to get lost.
Rocky’s eighth birthday is today. Maybe.
Rocky arrived here
Eight years ago today.
He was limping pretty badly,
But still wanted to play.
He was hit by a car.
His back legs were broken apart.
A lady dumped him at our vet.
It was a rocky start.
(He’s actually named Rocky,
Because he was a Chihuahua
That took on a Cadillac.
Adriaaaaan!)
We were going to foster him,
Until he found his perfect home.
He never made it off the couch,
He wouldn’t leave us alone.
He’s been with us eight long years,
He thinks he runs the house.
He’s killed a couple of snakes so far,
And one quite bloody mouse.
So, here’s to Rocky FosterPup.
He’s our favorite little shrimp.
He’s running all around the yard
Because he never learned to limp.
A dog, throughout the hours.
You don’t understand me at all.
Hey! Listen to me!
I’m trying to tell you something important.
I forgot.
Time to go out.
Why am I in the yard?
Time to come in.
I’m starving.
Wow. I’m full.
Is there more?
Skritch me.
Skritch me.
Why are you touching me?
Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Mom.
I’m sleepy.
Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Dad.
I’ll finish my nap.
Time to go out.
Nevermind.
Cleanup on aisle three.
I’m just a bit hungry.
Why did you wake me up?
Is there food?
Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad?
Nevermind.
Grandma said you have to share your steak.
I’m waiting.
This slipper tastes like steak, I think.
Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?
Nevermind.
I’m starving again.
Not now, I’m napping.
Can I have a snack?
I need a small snack.
Nap time is my favorite.
All. Squirrels. Must. Die.
We have a very vocal puppy.
Her name is Katie.
She talks all the time.
(She gets it from her Mom.)
The problem with a vocal puppy,
Is that nobody in the house speaks Dog.
With the exception of the Chihuahua,
And nobody speaks Spanish, either.
Katie howls at the front window.
This means, “Mail’s here.”
Unless, “The yard man is mowing.”
Sometimes, “A leaf blew in the street.”
Katie whimpers by the bed.
(Only in the middle of the night.)
This means, “I must go outside.”
Or, “Daddy’s sleeping in my spot.”
Sometimes, “Can you get me a snack?”
Katie whines in the kitchen.
This means, “Feed me now.”
Perhaps, “I would like some attention.”
Rarely, “My goodness, I am full.”
Katie cries by the back door.
This means, “Potty, please.”
Unless it means, “The neighbors are loud.”
Maybe, “There is noise out front, but this door has a window.”
Katie moans by the bedroom door.
On the outside, “Let me in!”
On the inside, “Let me out!”
That one, we understand.
I want it heard across the nation!
I am dying of starvation!
And I only had sixteen hours of sleep.
My parents say they need me,
But they never seem to feed me.
At least never more than twice a day.
I’m lying softly on their bed,
Waiting desperately to be fed.
And now, I think I have to pee.
I need this door unlocked.
I’ve knocked and knocked and knocked.
My paws can’t turn this stupid handle.
I’ll just go back to sleep.
I won’t even make a peep.
No-one knows the pain I’m in.
Sigh.
Editor’s Note: Blind John Ellsworth is dedicated to animal welfare, and wants all pets to be safe. So, it pains him to see reports of neighbors “losing” pets because they are left outside unattended — or worse, are “outside” pets. So, here’s a reminder.
There is a majestic old owl.
He patrols when the skies are black.
I thought he was looking for Tootsie-Pops,
But I think he’s looking for a snack.
When the wind is low,
Behind my bungalow.
I can hear the owl’s song.
If you know it, sing along.
Who let the dogs out?
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Burp.
Unfiltered Thoughts 