Anything you need,
Just use the app.
Don’t open the door,
Leave it on the mat.
To meet your team,
You just use Zoom.
You won’t even be
In the same room.
If you need a friend,
There’s online chat.
If you need a date,
Let’s not talk about that.
Defeat the virus!
Just stay home!
The problem is
We’re all alone.
I
Can’t
Really
Come
Up
With
A
Topic
Today,
But
At
Least
My
Words
Are
Safe
From
Infection.
February was my 20th Anniversary.
We were going for a cruise.
So, in January, I broke my foot.
Oh, plus my ankle, too.
Cruise canceled.
Well, next year is 21.
That's almost the same.
Staying home.
Avoiding all others.
Well, it will be over by May.
May, when we visit grandkids.
Wait. What?
Scrap that trip.
We have a Christmas cruise.
Yes, I know about cruises.
I'm not hopeful.
2019 kinda sucked.
2020 said, "Hold my beer."
I'm too old for this.
March, I was out of the splint.
I was out of the cast.
I was into a boot.
So, now I can travel.
It's my 60th birthday.
Time for a road trip.
Wait. What?
RVs vs Cruises
All the old RVers
Can finally come out to play.
They’ve locked up all the cruise ships,
And they’re giving gas away.
Can’t… Sleep…
Every single night,
Between the dusk and dawn.
I wake up with a fright,
To find my lover gone.
Is she visiting the bathroom?
Did she go to poop or pee?
If so, she’ll be back soon.
Flushed with victory.
Could she not fall asleep?
Did she move to the recliner?
Did she find another cabin?
Am I on an ocean liner?
Did she go to walk the dog?
I heard no toenails on the floor.
Did she leave for someone else?
Does she not love me anymore?
Did she flee to see her sister?
Did I do something wrong?
That’s probably not the answer,
She wasn’t gone that long.
Did she need a midnight snack?
Perhaps she’s feeling yucky.
Was she murdered in her sleep?
I would never be that lucky.
A dog, throughout the hours.
You don’t understand me at all.
Hey! Listen to me!
I’m trying to tell you something important.
I forgot.
Time to go out.
Why am I in the yard?
Time to come in.
I’m starving.
Wow. I’m full.
Is there more?
Skritch me.
Skritch me.
Why are you touching me?
Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Mom.
I’m sleepy.
Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Dad.
I’ll finish my nap.
Time to go out.
Nevermind.
Cleanup on aisle three.
I’m just a bit hungry.
Why did you wake me up?
Is there food?
Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad?
Nevermind.
Grandma said you have to share your steak.
I’m waiting.
This slipper tastes like steak, I think.
Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?
Nevermind.
I’m starving again.
Not now, I’m napping.
Can I have a snack?
Graham Gnome introduces himself in rhyme.
My name is Graham.
I am a Gnome.
I am so bored.
I’m stuck at home.
I want to swim.
I want to surf.
I need a friend.
I’ll date a Smurf.
I am off to sail,
Across the sea.
I need a cruise.
Will you go with me?
While we are all here on lockdown,
Just sitting at home has lost its thrills.
So, I am working on self-improvement.
I am taking the time to increase my skills.
Last week, I studied to be a mob boss.
I learned to show no mercy.
Now, I have to find my associates.
I just don’t want to move to Jersey.
This week, I learned to be a King.
Assuming it’s like being a Queen.
I will kindly rule my Empire,
I need a crown and some caffeine.
Today, I learned to run a crab boat.
“Captain” has been on my bucket list.
Now, I just need to get a boat.
Then, I have a crew to enlist.
I was learning to be a survivor,
But it didn’t last too long.
It’s just office committee politics,
Where the weak outvote the strong.
Next week, I’ll run a rescue,
Although it may be life or death.
It doesn’t sound too difficult,
I hear you need tigers and some meth.
I want a thick steak!
I want a big car!
I want a martini!
I want a cigar!
The government writes checks to take up the slack,
Why are people so happy to get their own money back?
The government knows where to send everyone’s cash,
So is the census just doing a rehash?
Lord, what a failure this program has been.
Why do we trust these bastards again?
Unfiltered Thoughts 