Kaitlin Renee Gilhooly (2006-2022)

Kaitlin Renee Gilhooly, an alleged PBGV, my girly-girl has crossed the bridge.

Katie on patrol

Katie was my dog. She was one of the few dogs that have owned us that would give me a kiss. This was ironic, since I voted against adopting her in the first place. (I was outvoted by her Mom, 1-1.) As with all dogs, Katie determined the person in the house who was not her champion, and chose that person to be her person. In all the time she slept on the bed with us (after we trained her to use Ripley’s ramps), she would sleep next to me. On the outside, so she would never touch Virginia. However, if she needed something in the middle of the night (like going to pee), she would jump off the bed, wander over to Virginia’s side, and whine until she woke Virginia up.

Katie was our one dog that I thought was a knee-jerk reaction to another of our rescues. We had rescued a dog I named Max (as in, “we’ve hit our max!”) in August of 2006, left him at the vet for observation while we were on vacation, and he died in quarantine that weekend.

A few months later, Katie showed up from the same rescue. Somewhere in near West Texas is a backyard breeder trying to make PBGVs (see below), because Ripley, Max and Katie all came from the same area.

Lawnmower
Katie the lawnmower

Virginia saw Katie in late September, and she joined the family in October. She was named for Katie and Renee, two friends who ran East Lake Pet Orphanage. The thought was naming her after rescue people would be good luck. It was a good thought. It wasn’t really correct.

I would not say she was a terror, but much as her older brother Ripley (they looked very similar from a breed perspective), she was her own dog. However, Ripley was passive-aggressive. Katie was active-aggressive. She had what someone desperately trying to sell her would call “spirit.”

Katie was the only dog who barked at us. “Open the door!” “Get me some food!” “Change the channel!” I’m pretty sure she thought we were idiots.

Katie and Murphy doing laps
Katie and Rocky, relaxing

She was the fifth dog when she joined the household pack. She assumed that she was in charge about ten minutes later. She was behind Bubba, Ripley, Murphy, and Flower. Flower had her Mom with us, Bubba and Murphy were easily intimidated and Ripley was willing to have pretty much anyone think they were in charge.

So, it was Katie’s house. The rest of us just lived in it.

The best example of this was the Chair incident. My mother-in-law used to sit in her wheelchair to watch TV, and Virginia wanted to get her a nice “real” chair, so she bought a new chair, had it placed where her Mom sat, and went to work. That left me to do the dirty work – mainly, listening to ten minutes of bitching about not liking the chair, and moving it out of the way.

It’s my chair now.

Katie adopted the chair. She loved it. She could jump in it and nobody could touch her. This naturally enraged Mom, who said, “That dog is in my chair!” I said, “It’s not your chair – you didn’t want it. So, I guess it’s her chair now.”

So, thank you to Katie for getting your Grandma to sit in the insanely expensive chair Virginia bought for her.

(When my Mom-in-law passed away, Katie got the chair back. Virginia kept the chair for years.)

Very few of our friends ever met her because she didn’t really like people. She didn’t like men, except me. She didn’t like the vet, but she tolerated Dr Young and many of the staff at Rutherford Veterinary Hospital. She didn’t like strangers. I’m not sure she really truly liked us, but we knew how a can opener worked, so we were accepted as necessary.

An example – she was being boarded at the vet because she had pancreatitis, and Dr Vaughn said, “She’s fine, she’s just lying in her crate.” An hour later, Virginia got the phone call, “Uh, could you come down here with that muzzle you mentioned? Nobody can get near her.”

We just learned to adapt. After one unfortunate occurrence with an incompetent pet sitter, Katie learned to hide under the bed. I would try to talk her out, which worked some time. I would just grab her collar and pull her out, and after I stopped bleeding, I would try to talk her out again. Eventually, we just left a leash on her, and then we could drag her out spread-eagled, without losing any fingers.

Camoflage

Any pet sitter had to pass the Katie test before she was hired. The garden is full of the bodies of pet sitters who didn’t pass the test. (OK, that’s not true, but it is believable.)

Virginia always said Ripley, Max and Katie were probably from the same breeder, since they were all rescued in the same area west of Ft Worth. We thought they were PBGVs (Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen – a basset hunting dog.) They are known as the friendly breed. Max and Ripley were friendly. Two out of three ain’t bad.

Bloodline

Katie is apparently a basset crossed with some “bitchy.” She was friendly when she needed you to use the can opener for her. The rest of the time, you rolled the dice.

I’m not saying that she was a hellion. She only bit Virginia a couple of times, and usually, it was because Katie was trying to kill Rocky and Virginia was unfortunately in the way. So, she was pretty nice to us, as long as we weren’t in the crossfire.

Katie lived with us for fifteen and a half years. We think she was about sixteen years old. She was the longest serving member of the PsychoPuppies by about three months – she passed Ripley earlier this year. For a dog I didn’t think was going to last a week, she has made me very proud. She was the one that taught us adapting to a dog’s ways was sometimes much easier than getting the dog to adapt to ours.

Relaxing

When her spirit faded, we knew it was time to say goodbye. That time was unfortunately today. I hope she can find Max on the other side of the bridge, since they never met. Bubba, Ripley and Murphy will welcome her, and then go find somewhere else to be.

I will miss her. We all will, but she was my girl.

Kaitlin Renee Gilhooly

Dinnertime

Katie is a lovely dog
She knows that she is mine.
She only has one tiny fault.
She cannot tell the time.

Katie knows that dinner time
Is every night at seven.
So, she starts her dinner whine
At six-ten or six-eleven.

Sometimes, this will work.
I will feed them early.
Katie learned that dinner time
Arrives some nights prematurely.

Katie knows that dinner time
Is every night at six-fifteen
So, she starts her dinner whine
At five-thirty, six or in-between.

Once the whining has commenced,
She never tends to drop it.
Only puppy food in quantity
Seems to make her stop it.

Katie knows that dinner time
Is sometime after four.
So, she starts her dinner whine
Sometime the day before.

The one part of my dear Kate
That never needs explaining.
She only has two speeds in life,
Sound asleep and loud complaining.

Recurring Nightmares

NIghtmares, unicycles, pets and a universal truth.

I just woke up from a brief nap. We had fairly broken sleep last night because Katie probably has a urinary tract infection, so she was visiting the yard every couple of hours.

I woke up because I was having a nightmare. I was lost on my unicycle in my parents’ old neighborhood, which isn’t that far from here. I lived there for over ten years, and it’s not that large, so I’m not really sure how I was lost.

That’s when I realized I have been having the same recurring nightmares lately. I’m lost in a neighborhood that resembles one where I had my old paper route, or I’m lost in a neighborhood that resembles where my parents used to live. Sometimes, it has combinations of both with parts of Plano added for extra terror.

There are a few other constants in the dreams – I’m lost, I’m on foot or on a unicycle, there are rarely other people around. When I wake up, I’m still trying to find my way home.

The only true constant is I am always approached and befriended by dogs, usually three white ones, a large one that looks like a poodle, a medium-sized one that looks like a Lhasa Apso, and a small mutt.

I’m sure the white is symbolic. The sizes are just from reading Goldilocks too many times as a child. I have no idea where the unicycle popped up. I’m pretty sure my foot surgeon would frown on a unicycle since I broke my foot walking.

As to the causes. maybe it’s depression from 2020. Maybe it’s stress from being unemployed again. Maybe it’s from sleeping too much with a dog smashed against me.

However, I prefer to think it’s a reminder for everyone – dogs are often your only true friends, and dogs will love you even if you’ve lost your way.

So, a gentle reminder, especially at the holidays: pets are not good gifts. Pets are a gift that come with instant responsibilities, and long-term commitments. Don’t give a gift that brings happiness on Christmas and is in the shelter by Easter.

Most importantly, if you have a pet, love your pet. They love you, no matter what.

And stay off your unicycle. You don’t want to get lost.

Watching the Guard

Whenever we’re away,
We thought our dogs would play.
Well, my wife did.
I was pretty sure they snoozed.

Rocky’s in his condo crate,
Behind a little doggie gate,
So, Katie is really the guard.
She has the rest of the house.

This week, I got a PuppyCam,
So Katie got her guard exam.
She failed.
Well, not completely.

Her Mom’s chair was secure.
She watched my couch, for sure.
Anything not between the couch and chair,
Pretty much fair game for invaders.

We were almost back home,
So, Rocky and Katie was still alone.
Then, my wife said,
“Hey! Let’s call her!”

I opened up the app,
Gave the mic a tap,
And said, “Hi, Katie!”
She bounded for the door.

Oops. Now, I feel bad.
My wife is feeling sad.
Well, we’ll be home soon.
Katie started crying.

Well, there goes my heart.
It’s broken apart.
We’re still a half-mile away.
So, I told her, “Soon.”

We got home at last,
She still looked harassed.
I think she got extra food.
I think she forgave us.

We won’t spy anymore,
From outside the door.
It’s caused too much strife.
We’ll just watch the neighbors.

Mom’s Lament

Well, at least she’s not bitter.

Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
Guess I’ll go eat worms.

My dogs don’t love me,
Unless I’m bearing treats.
I try to hug and kiss them,
Guess I’ll admit defeats.

I let them out to play.
I feed them two squares a day.
They pee on the floor, it’s OK.
Their hair makes me sneeze more than hay.

Am I bitter?
Not even a bit.
So, they sit by Dad.
I won’t have a snit.

They really love me.
I’m sure of that.
But if I find they don’t,
I’m getting me a cat.

Murphy’s Lament

Murphy is a dog of few words.

Mom, why are you bleeping?
Can’t you see I’m sleeping?

I don’t need to pee outdoors.
I already did, over on the floor.

Is it time for me to eat?
If not, I’m going back to my seat.

I don’t like the lady with the scoop.
She harvests all the tasty poop.

You’re putting drops in my eyes?
Where is my tasty cookie prize?

Katie’s Further Lament

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Mommy woke me from my nap.
Lordy, what a load of crap.

I was deep inside a dream,
With a bowl of squirrel ice cream.

Then, I found myself awake.
She gave my little tail a shake.

I wish I had a can of Mace,
Or the energy to chew her face.

Instead, I’ll go outside and pee.
As I think, “Oh, woe is me.”

Rocky said, “Oh, woe is I.”
He’s such an educated guy.

Now, I lay me down to sleep.
My Mommy is a little creep.

I will chase her to New Delhi,
If she blows a bubble on my belly.