The Ballad of the Lost Keys (aka Sainthood Postponed)

I visited the sick today,
I listened to their pleas.
But now My Lord is testing me,
The valet lost my keys.

I was going to go in peace.
Onward through the fray.
“Who was that saintly woman?”
All the nursing staff would say.

I would have left in peace,
Except for that damn valet.
The bastard lost my friggin’ keys.
So I can’t just drive away.

People started watching,
As I chastised that valet.
It’s hard to appear saintly,
When you’re cussing out Jose.

I want to love my fellow man,
Since I have My Lord to please.
But I’m going to strangle one of them,
If he doesn’t find my keys.

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Author: Blind John Ellsworth

Blind John Ellsworth (1960- ), a (questionable) poet and sometimes Texas bluesman. He has recorded one spoken-word album (thankfully unreleased), since he is still trying to learn to play guitar. (Lack of musical skills is what makes him a poet and not a lyricist. Plus, he can’t write music.)

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